Insomnia Cures: Memories of sleep

I can remember a time, long ago, when I was able to fall asleep when I wanted. I can remember waking up early in the morning and feeling refreshed and full of energy. Energy I would need to get me through my day. Don't get me wrong, it is not like I love to wake up and go to work (or school, or wherever), I would much rather sleep-in and enjoy my dreams for a bit longer. My point is: I would wake up, which meant I got some sleep. I miss that sleep.

There would be days I would not want to get out of my warm bed and roll my tired body out under my bedsheets. Like any other person who has something to do in their day, I would get out of bed and start my day. Most days I would still feel a bit tired, but after a warm shower, and an even warmer coffee, I would feel brand new. It is sad to say, that my 'brand new' feeling has vanished.

I would get up, and rush to catch my train so I wouldn't be late for work. The best part about taking the train to work is that I could close my eyes for 30 minutes and get some shut eye. I can't just close my eyes and fall asleep anymore. That luxury is gone. I might wake up tired, but I did not stay tired the entire day. Now I don't sleep and I feel like a never wake up.

Thinking of the days when I could fall asleep after a long day, or taking a nap to re-energize are mere memories now. I can only think of sleeping, not actually partake in it. I bet it is sort of like an injured athlete watching the big game from the sidelines and not being able to play. He wants to play, but can not. I want to sleep, but can not.

Remembering the days when I could fall asleep have become memories, and I am trying everyday to make it a reality once again. I believe anyone who is suffering from Insomnia is also looking for its cure. Insomnia cures are out there, they have to be. Just as the injured athlete waits on the sideline, waiting to play again, I too am waiting for my big game. Right now there is no bigger game than sleep. And my injury seems to be Insomnia.


Jerome said...

This might sound harsh, but knowing someone else is suffering the pangs of insomnia makes me feel as though I'm not alone. Here I am, 62 years-old, quite fit otherwise, but a living zombie at least 3-4 days a week. Unable to seize control of my mind which wreaks havoc on my sleeping. I'm unsure whether people who do sleep well, truly appreciate just what a gift 7-8 hours of slumber can be. This nightmare of mine has been going on for nearly 7 years. I retired as a teacher at age 56 because I could no longer function and was not about to collect a check for just standing in front of a class doing nothing. I am cognizant of the cause (death in the family as well as working 23 years in a hostile environment) but cannot find the cure. Tried the meds, read all the books, engaged in the various philosophies, etc... Brutal.

gerald chan said...

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